I try to be a glass half full kinda person. Like when my dog died, I was gutted, but at least my house doesn’t smell anymore. Or when an old flame dumped me, I was sad, but then I realized I could make space in my brain to remember my mum’s phone number, rather than his. The same we for ‘Abduction’. I tried to see the silver lining, the bright side, the half full glass but…Wow!
The film open with the bad sound effect of a car and Nathan Harper AKA Steven Price (Taylor Lautner) attempting to pull off the same stunt as seen in ‘Death Proof’ (although it’s so much better when Zoe Bell does it). And it’s all downhill from there. Nathan has always felt as if he’s living someone else’s life, like something’s not quite right. He finds out why he’s got this feeling when he’s paired with his crush (Lily Collins) in a Social Science project. While researching together, they come across a photo of him as a young boy on a missing persons website. He starts questioning his life. Was he abducted? Who are his real parents? Why did his ‘parents’ never tell him? As he starts to figure it all out, some badass Russians turn up and start shooting everyone. He gets all confused and stops trusting almost everyone, including the CIA, who have been tracking him. He and Karen, his crush, decide to run and are helped by his therapist (Sigourney Weaver). As they run, he tries to figure out who his real family are, and starts to realize that he’s a lot like both his biological and adoptive father when he decides to take matters into his own hands.
I’m going to be blatantly honest here, the dialogue was cringeworthy and cheesy, the acting was below the median, the plot was – well, let’s just say “A film called ‘Abduction’ and no one gets abducted” – and the audio sounded like it was found by googling ‘free sound effects’, then clicking the ‘download’ button.
Probably the most riveting thing about the film was when Lautner takes he shirt off. Not for the obvious reason, but because my husband and I had a bet to see how many times he would take it off. I won! And! I think I have found my glass half full, albeit full of really weak Raro. ‘Abduction’ was actually pretty funny, unintentionally funny. The bad scripting, the ‘I’m such a tough, hot guy’ facials and the corny one liners where hilarious and chuckles consistently flowed through the theater. Although – I am still struggling to figure out why Sigourney Weaver lowered herself to this. After ‘Avatar’, she can’t be that desperate for money?
If you are the hugest, mega team Jacob fan and you have every inch of you bedroom wall covered with posters and teeny, tiny pictures of him that you found in ‘Girlfriend’ magazine, you might enjoy this. Having said that, the whole action-punching-shooting thing may not interest you. Otherwise, if you really want to figure out why it’s getting such low reviews, I suggest waiting until it’s in the ‘8 day hire’ section. Trust me, it’s worth the wait.
Reviewed by: Nerice