DVD Review: xXx: Return of Xander Cage
Ok, so I did some research before sitting down with the latest in the xXx franchise and I’ve discovered that people are generally in one of two camps, those that love Vin Diesel and those who, well, those who are absolute idiots. Ok, so that’s a bit harsh, and I’ll be the first to admit that Vin Diesel is never gonna win an Oscar for his acting. Hell, the dude will never win any kind of award for his acting. At least I hope he doesn’t. So if that’s the case, why do I love watching Vin Diesel films so much?
It comes down to the one thing that Vin has going for him, well two if you listen to my wife, but I wasn’t about to come out and say how hot he looks now was I? Erm, on to my point, the one thing Vin has going for him, is in all his films (at least the ones I can remember) he looks like he is having FUN. Yes, FUN, in all caps. This fun is infectious and can make even the most by the numbers action film enjoyable to watch.
So then we come to the Return of Xander Cage. The third film in the series. The first was awesome, but then for some reason Vin didn’t reprise his role for the sequel, meaning the series died a sad death. But now Xander is back, and in fine form.
What makes xXx so entertaining is the crazy concept of recruiting extreme sports athletes to become kick arse black ops members, instantly being able to take down criminals all because they can snowboard like no other. Yeah, sounds lame on paper but as we all know – at least those of us who have seen the original xXx, it gives the film instant permission to do a bunch a crazy stunts that are so implausible and clearly staged that you just know it’s all smoke and mirrors, but you just don’t care because it looks awesome and makes you wish you had taken a different path in life.
Then of course there are the ladies, there has to be smoking hot, barely clothed ladies that can hold there own in a fight – it’s just part of the – admittedly sexist – formula, and xXx knows this well. But action and hot chicks can’t entertain you for long so some serious humour, and poking fun at your self is essential. And xXx know this formula down pat. Sure there is some storyline about a Pandora’s box that can take control of satellites and turn them into weapons of assassination.
Hahahahaha, yeah right.
But the storyline is only something to hang girls and action on, and of course Vin’s infectious fun. And it’s in this way that the Return of Xander Cage succeeds. It’s an over the top action film with massive plot holes and that doesn’t make an ounce of sense, but it’s two hours of bloody good fun.
Rating: M Violence and offensive language.